#EmpathyActionStories - Empathy Action

Time for Reflection

As the summer holidays begin, we asked our incredible Team Empathy to reflect upon these unprecedented few months and share what has resonated with them most during this time.

We’ve collated their reflective words below.

We hope that these words also resonate with you. They remind us of what we have learned and what we can choose to take with us as we emerge from this time of crisis.

We wish you all a peaceful and restful summer. We’re so looking forward to sharing more Empathy ideas and stories with you in the autumn!

Imagine: a trip overseas, a drink with friends, a much-needed haircut. All these pursuits are now possible. Summer has arrived along with its team sports, outdoor performances, barbeques, picnics and ice creams.

Panic buying is over and spirits are brightening as people come together and share stories of lockdown, as if it’s an event of the past. Life is – it seems – returning to an approximation of ‘normal’. Even traffic is once again a thing.

Now, imagine the elderly woman still alone in her home because she is ‘clinically extremely vulnerable’. Sometimes she goes for a week without seeing a single soul. She is sharp as a whip and is aware that isolation is making her frailty worse and her mind slow down.

Imagine, too, the man who works in the supermarket. He’s scared for his father who has underlying health issues and depends on him. Shops are now busier and shoppers are more relaxed – many do not wear face masks and some get too close. The man knows he is lucky to have work, yet he also knows that he needs to keep himself and his father safe.

There are many more people we could imagine: the woman who is paralysed by her fear of catching coronavirus. She prefers to play it safe and stay cooped up in her flat, despite her friends’ reassurances. Or the man who is beset by concerns about a different disease, but doesn’t want to burden the medics. Or the young couple worried about their future now that both are unemployed.

And imagine the abused children who suffered in silence long before COVID-19 was a headline. They still do.

The pandemic has allowed strong characteristics to flourish. The kind that are “the best in people”.

Volunteer-based initiatives have been welcomed far and wide, and we have innovated and adapted in life-affirming ways (some of which we may want to keep). And the accelerated laser-like focus on key issues has been hard but necessary. Many are waking up to problems which have lingered under the radar for too long.

The story of the pandemic is messy and ongoing.

Lockdown is easing (for now) but there is no vaccine yet. We have to learn how to accommodate the disease and remember to stay connected.

Busier streets render those locked behind front doors more invisible still. Let’s listen to the woman – so aware of her vulnerability – when she wonders, without a shred of self-pity, whether she will outlast the pandemic. And look behind the smile of the man at the checkout as he serves you and thinks of his father.

The world needs characters like these more than ever. Ones who will lead us and not leave people behind. Ones who will remember that others are vulnerable.

The opportunities to choose empathy today are greater than ever.

Empathy Action 2.0

This is an exciting and creative moment for Empathy Action.”

Over these last months we’ve been exploring how to continue our work of crafting and curating experiences that build empathy and encourage compassionate action. In these changing times, we’ve been inspired to consider how we can adapt our message of choosing empathy and its importance within our communities and across the world.

We are applying our expertise to create new, innovative programmes offering bespoke empathy experiences that can be delivered remotely or with smaller teams.”

It’s a great time to speak to us particularly if, like us, you’re thinking about what you can do differently.

Whether it’s a virtual classroom visit, an in-depth empathy exercise or access to our bank of resources, we’d love to hear from you!

Change in a Time of Crisis – 14

This week we wanted to focus on a change that is taking place at Empathy Action. At the end of July, we will be saying farewell to one of our founders, the incredible Matt Gurney.

Matt co-founded Empathy Action with Ben Solanky over five years ago. Late last year Matt felt that the time was right to step down as an Executive Director. He shared a heartfelt statement in which he spoke of the difficulty of his decision and how utterly convinced he remains of the vital need and impact of Empathy Action’s work. As Co-Founder, Matt emphasised that he will always be part of our team and how proud he is of everything we’ve achieved. We know that we can always count on his support, even from afar. While we will miss him, we are hugely grateful for his ongoing passion and commitment to Empathy Action.

We asked Matt to reflect on his time with Empathy Action and below are his thoughtful and inspiring answers to our questions.

How did Empathy Action come about?

Firstly I think it’s important to state that our primary reason for establishing EA – at the heart of both the ‘why’ and the ‘what’ of this organisation – was a response to Jesus’ commandment to “love your neighbour as yourself”. His mandate underpins everything we do and is the very purpose of our organisation.

EA also came about from a belief that not only do we all have a duty to actively care for others in our world, but that everyone can make a difference, each in their own way.”

We saw that all too often what holds people back is a feeling of helplessness in the face of so many and such enormous problems, which then breeds apathy. We recognised that if we could get people to empathise more deeply with others, through running empathy activities like simulations, this could serve as a powerful catalyst to spur people on to take action.

What’s the story behind the name?

The team spent many weeks trying to decide on the right name for the organisation, we even began with the interim name, The Empathy Project. In the end though, we decided to stop trying to be too clever by considering obtuse names such as ‘Petrichor’, ‘Stone Soup’ or ‘Pebble’, and just say it as it is!

The two words Empathy and Action sum us up completely; not only describing what it is we do, but also describing the type of compassionate action we ultimately wish to motivate in people…an ‘empathy action’.”

What has been your toughest moment?

I think anyone who knows us well knows there have been a few! However, I think some of the toughest moments for me personally were when any pupil would make the deliberate choice NOT to accept one of our gifts handed out to the participants at the end of a simulation. We use these gifts to illustrate how small actions can make a real difference (in this case benefitting the impoverished communities that make them) and we ask pupils to take them as a pledge to care and take action. Whilst it is only ever a handful of individuals who choose not to take one, my sense was always that they were the ones probably most in need of empathy and, my fear, the ones we’d failed to reach. My hope, however, was that a seed may still have been planted and in time bear fruit.

What are you most proud to have achieved through EA?

Again, there are so many things we’ve accomplished as an organisation these past five years, of which I’m immensely proud. Above all though I would say it is the clear and direct impact Empathy Action has had on the many thousands of school children who have taken part in our programmes, as reflected by – and as we’ve already witnessed in many cases – their compassionate choices and actions in the years to come.

Where do you see EA in 5 years’ time?

I would very much hope that the EA community has grown a great deal larger and become even more impactful. We always envisaged starting up new EA ‘hubs’ around the world, in time forming an interconnected, global community of like-minded and ‘like-hearted’ people working together to redress the balance. It would be wonderful if in 5 years’ time we had two or three – or even more – hubs up and running!

What do you take with you from EA as you prepare to leave?

Too many things to name here, but ranking very highly would be a great sense of privilege and deep camaraderie, from having shared a wonderful journey with some amazing people.

I also take with me a firm conviction, which I’ve had from the beginning, that Empathy Action and the role I’ve played in it is very much part of God’s plan.”

What have you learned about empathy during your time with EA?

I’ve observed that building empathy, particularly in children, is much like planting a seed. In some cases it can shoot up quickly with very little nurturing, or it may take years before the conditions are right for it to flourish and grow. But empathy on its own is not enough, it must be put to good use or it will simply wither and die.

Empathy only becomes meaningful and worthwhile if it is then used to take action to help others in need.”

What role can EA play during COVID-19?

Covid-19 is the great leveller, bringing the world to its knees and affecting everyone, regardless of who they are. And because of this we find ourselves in an extraordinary situation where the groundwork for empathy with one another, through a globally shared experience, has already been put in place. I believe that there now exists a unique opportunity for EA to harness that empathy and find new and innovative ways of channelling it into meaningful acts of caring for each other.

What is the most effective way to teach empathy?

The closer one can get to experiencing and ‘feeling’ the lives of others, the easier it is to build empathy with them. It needs an open mind and an open heart, but that is why we believe the experiential empathy activities we run, like the The Poverty Trap and Desperate Journeys, are such powerful tools for teaching empathy.

As Atticus Finch says in To Kill a Mockingbird: “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view . . . until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.”

Thank you so much Matt for reminding us what empathy is all about! We are excited to continue to build on the strong foundation you have created and look forward to inspiring compassionate action in the times ahead.

Refugee Week: Refugees in A Time of Crisis – 13

This week is Refugee Week, and we have tried to think about the realities faced by refugees by listening to true stories told in innovative ways by people who understand the transformative power of empathy.

On our Facebook and Instagram sites we curated a set of exercises in empathy to help deepen our understanding of the global refugee crisis. We highlighted five perspectives. One for each day.

Day 1: Perspective of a child living in a camp

“We walked for days crossing the desert to Jordan.”

On Monday we met Sidra. She’s 12. Living in a refugee camp. She showed us around her home in this 360 video [you can also use google cardboard with this]

Day 2: Perspective of ordinary people faced with a global crisis on their doorstep

On Tuesday we hung out with some of our local heroes who explained what motivated them to take action.

Alice said:

“Because if I were in their shoes I would like to think someone would do it for me and my family.”

While Sarah agreed:

“What is going on is simply not OK… and we are not OK with this.”

We also met Valentina (founder of RefugEase) and Jaz O’Hara (founder The Worldwide Tribe).

Day 3: Understanding perspectives – tourists and refugees listen and talk on a Greek island

On Wednesday, we whisked you away to a beautiful Greek island and invited you to witness conversations between tourists and refugees. A simple (but very effective) way of showing how different it can be when people talk to each other, instead of about each other.

Day 4: Perspective of a parent of child in a safe school

On Thursday we looked at the refugee crisis from the perspective of parents with their children in safe schools (very local to us in Sevenoaks). Maria, a parent, struck us with these words,

“You may be surprised to know that a refugee looks exactly like me.” Amira, also a former refugee, said “One of the most important and precious things to do .. is to notice [refugees], remember they are like us and be interested in them.”

Day 5: Perspective of a person forced to choose what to take as they flee

And finally, on Friday, through two compelling short films we revealed the one critical item most refugees take with them on their desperate journeys.

Thank you for joining us throughout the week, and engaging with the questions we posed. We hope that – like us – you have been reminded why it is crucial to continue to watch and listen and act, and give voice to those who have none.

WANT TO DO SOMETHING: BE A FRIEND, CHOOSE SOLIDARITY.

We are also grateful that many of you have undertaken an act of solidarity by sending our Friendship from Syria Bracelet. These beautiful woven pieces serve as a reminder that friendship is perhaps the most important thing each of us can give.

Tomorrow is World Refugee Day. We are reminded again that people, just like us, flee their homes every single day – This does not change – today, tomorrow, or in the weeks, months and years to come.

So please keep noticing and talking. As Amira said, “Our attention to others is powerful.” – a message which is in itself empowering, and encourages us – in this time of intense crisis – to be more determined than ever to choose empathy and stand in solidarity with refugees.

#RefugeeWeek #SolidarityWithRefugees #ChooseEmpathy #LocalHeroes